Monday, 30 November 2009

La Belle Noiseuse

‘Belle de Jour’, the pseudonymous author of ‘The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl’, has allegedly been unmasked as Dr Brooke Magnanti a 34-year-old female research scientist at Bristol University, widely described as ‘blonde’.

Which is quite a surprise. Like most people, I’d always assumed her stuff was constructed by a committee of middle-aged men.

Actually, that’s not quite true. The only time I looked at her blog – about a year ago – I was convinced it had been written by a 30-something British woman of Indian origin. Why? Because her fixation on Bollywood star Shah Rukh Khan (and the fact that she went to see his film Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi in its week of release) suggested someone with intimate knowledge of Indian cinema.

Here’s the entry:

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“Speaking of cinema, delighted to notice in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi that Shah Rukh Khan has a left-side fang just like mine! Wonky teeth rule. Also that in undercover geek mode he looks distinctly like my father's older brother - am now uncertain whether it is strictly kosher to continue fancying SRK.”

An authority on sex, neurotoxicology and Bollywood, Dr Magnanti certainly sounds like fun. We can almost forgive her for borrowing the name of one of our all-time favourite films...

Naboo For Lashes

Let us consider the mysteries of Natasha Khan aka Bat For Lashes.

Is she:

(a) an astral-voyaging musical genius from the other side of midnight.

(b) Natasha Bedingfield in a Halloween costume.

(c) Naboo from The Mighty Boosh.

(Only answers written in blood on a sheet of parchment will be eligible)

Cage Rage!

Unbelievably, a rumour previously reported in this blog has actually come true. Hollywood superstar Nicolas Cage really did turn on the Christmas lights in Bath last week!

However, there was apparently an unfortunate altercation between Mr Cage and one of the staff of Bath council. Someone captured it on film too:

Friday, 13 November 2009

Joss Stone – the white girl who just loves to mangle black music

Did anyone else notice that on the Jools Holland show this week, Steve Martin referred to fellow guest Joss Stone as ‘Josh Stone’?

‘Josh’ (pictured here shortly before being shot with a tranquilizer dart and released into the wild) wore a hideous gigantic hippie blanket and danced like a loon during the other artists’ performances.

She also spent a lot of time trying to chat up soulful blues-rocker Black Joe Lewis. Wonder if he asked her to give him back his cultural heritage.

Friday, 6 November 2009

Anatomy Of A Shirt-Rip Ritual

Remember that iconic gatefold image from the Smiths live album 'Rank'?

Well, it looks like ageing Smiths fans are still up for a bit of shirt-ripping action on former Smiths frontman Morrissey's current tour. Photographer Gavin Roberts took this shot at the Salisbury gig on Monday.

"At the end of the gig Moz threw his green shirt into the crowd," says Gavin. "There was a bit of the usual tussle, but nothing serious. The lights go on and there's about half a dozen separate groups, each with five or six people trying to wrestle control of tiny parts of the famed garment.

"The Security were at first a little bemused but as people stood their ground it went on for longer than they thought. Although it was generally good-natured, a few people were thrown out by Security. They seemed slightly baffled as to why grown men - and women - who should know better would fight so hard for a tiny part of a shirt worn by a greying 50-year-old indie crooner."